Friday, 19 November 2010

Canine Cuisine

I don't think I'm spoiled. I just deserve the best, that's all.

No dog worth his wag will eat the same thing - day in, day out - without making a fuss.

Which is why my breakfast this morning consisted of chicken and vegetables in a Ginseng broth.

MM stated that she is 42 years old and has never had anything in a Ginseng broth.

I offered her a nibble of mine to rid her of her petted lip, but she declined. Her loss...

(Actually, it doesn't taste that great, but there is no way I'm letting on.)

Saturday, 6 November 2010

Devil Dog

I draw the line at certain things and having MM and DD dress me up like one of Paris Hilton's pooches in the name of Halloween is one of them.

But even the threat of losing a finger didn't stop them doing this to me...

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

The Joy of Socks

The humble sock - not a terribly exciting item at first glance but the possibilities for a pooch are many...1/ a stinky, worn sock stolen from the laundry basket can be an ideal gift for any visitor - especially if it's some-one MM and DD are trying to impress.

2/ as a plaything it can be dragged along the carpet, thrown in the air a few times, shredded and then left to drown in the water bowl.

3/ as a puzzle for MM - stolen from the clothes horse this can result in hours of fun as she wonders why she has so many odd socks and then blames it on the washing machine.

4/ for your own amusement remember to always take one from the pair they are about to put on, refuse to give it back until they are running late for work, then relent and watch them squirm as they put on a warm, damp sock and hop out the door.

Oh yes, the joy of socks...

Thursday, 3 June 2010

Lazy Bones - Sleepin' In The Sun

What better way to spend a sunny day when you have the place all to yourself?

If I wasn't basking in the rays in my basket...

I was soaking up the sun on the satin sheets...

Ah, such doggy delights!

Sunday, 23 May 2010

Sock Shame

I can't help thinking that I've missed the joke here...

MM had her leaving drinkies on Thursday night and these socks were a present from some crazy people at The Sun - they gave her a bottle of Prosecco too, but I notice she didn't share that with me!

As usual, DD just did as he was told, but I refused to look at the camera and poked my tongue out.

MM said I'd obviously picked that up from Kerry Katona - and she had something to do with kittens apparently - so it's probably not a thing dogs are supposed to do.

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Farewell Fifi

My fuzzy little heart is broken…

I found out last night that my one great love - Fifi (aka Fifi L'Amour) - has passed away.

DD and I bumped into her Mutty Mummy when we were out on our late night stroll and after hearing the news, I walked the whole way home with my head and tail down.

DD and MM felt so sorry for me that they let me sleep with them last night.

Today, I'll just spend some time in my basket. Alone; with just my memories and a very heavy heart.

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Helpful Hound

MM had been writing on her blog about a pair of shoes that she was feeling guilty about buying.

She'd been dithering about taking them back and had tucked the receipt inside the shoe.

Deep down I think she really wanted to keep them, so I decided to help her out.

P.S. - I waited until DD had hoovered before I indulged in some shredding

Saturday, 10 April 2010

Canine Clips

I’ve been growing my hair all winter and was just getting to that surfer dude look that the ladies love when MM & DD bumped into a woman with a Lakeland.

Unlike me, he had been subjected to a serious haircut and, as a fellow breed, he did his best to warn me away by barking and jumping around.

It was no use though - our MMs still managed to get close enough to talk ‘grooming’.

I am now sporting the 'convict crop' and my ears (and other extremities) are freezing!
Okay - so I admit there are worse cuts than mine

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Victorious Visla

Thought I'd take this opportunity to congratulate Yogi the Hungarian Visla on his Crufts victory.

Bet that trophy's full of Bonio

Obviously, if I'd been there myself he'd have had a pretty stiff competition, but you have to support a fellow ginger-coated canine.

And what better way for him to celebrate his win than by retiring and putting his paws up for a well deserved rest.

Saturday, 13 February 2010

Carpet Capers!

Excellent - they have finally given me something to get excited about.

New carpets! No more running into the hall to attack the mail, only to find that fluffy paws can’t brake on laminate flooring and that the front door is not a gentle buffer.

Now everywhere is soft and fluffy, perfect under paw and excellent for leaving big deposits of loose fur.

It’s especially helpful that the carpets are almost black and I’m blonde, so I can see exactly where I’ve been, and where I left that munched up old chew stick and broken bit of Bonio.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Gorgeous Again!

Having revealed to you my 'spot of bother', I felt too ashamed to put paw to keyboard until it cleared up.

Now I'm pleased to say that my posterior is perfect again and I'm back in action!

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Pooch with a Pimple

I have a spot on my bottom!

My fur's fairly long, so I’ve been covering it up, but MM & DD noticed it during my regular puppy massage (yes, I know it’s pathetic, but I love a massage – just don’t tell them that I actually enjoy something they do).

First of all, they chased me round the flat with a tube of Germoline. I put up with that for two days and then started diving under the couch whenever they unscrewed the lid. That give them the hint pretty quick, but I wasn’t prepared for last night…

MM caught me off guard and whacked a big dollop of face pack on my pimply problem. I got the last laugh though when DD said he’d paid over £60 for the mud mask as a present to MM and about £20 of that was dripping off my fur onto the floor.
I'm just one step away from this!

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Hound In A Huff!

I am not a happy hound!

Huffing - Hobbs style

Want to know why? I'll tell you why!

Those two had the nerve to call me a 'Wagamuffin' today. Just because I need a trim and happen to have been snowed on and then sprayed with slush by very passing vehicle for the past few weeks.

They think they're so perfect - well, they forget that I see what they look like in the morning and believe me, if there's anything that will put you off your morning bowl of kibble, it's them in their pyjamas and bed head hair!

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Cold Canine

Okay, I take back all the bad things I’ve said about my new coat.

Why? Because it’s bloody freezing here in Scotland!!

My tender toes and jellybutton nose are numb within about three seconds of setting paw out the front door.

Even though I’m still pretending I hate putting the coat on, I’m secretly loving how toasty warm it keeps me when I’m out and about, picking up and dropping off my pee-mail.

Now I just have to sort out the nipping pads I get from walking on the salty gritted pavements.

Looks like I spoke too soon - here comes MM with the Paw Wax!

Monday, 4 January 2010

Ba(rk)h Humbug!

It's taken me over a week to recover from the disappointment of Christmas Day.

Did I find Fifi, warm and snuggly, in my basket? N0!

Did I get a convertible sports car with heated seats? No!

Did I get a waterproof jacket and (horror or horrors) a matching harness? Yes, I bloody did!

Okay, so I also got some damn fine canine confectionery, including a pack of rather impressive cigars, but it's not enough to stop me making my mark on that jacket!

A prickly like this should do the job...